EN
Our son has been diagnosed with “ADHD” and “autism” and has an individualized education plan (IEP). I have found this useful in several ways:
中文
我们的儿子被诊断为「ADHD」和「自闭症」，并有一份个别化教育计划（IEP）。我发现这在几个方面很有用：
EN
He has adults with him every day who understand that his struggles are not “bad behavior.” Regardless of their framework, he is spared a punitive approach. (The alternative would have been punishment-and-reward “behavior modification,” which we knew would be confusing and unhelpful.)
中文
每天都有大人陪着他，他们明白他的困难并不是「不良行为」。无论他们用什么样的框架来理解，他都免于惩罚性的对待。（另一种做法本来会是奖惩式的「行为矫正」，我们知道那会令人困惑、也没有帮助。）
EN
It has meant more resources and less targeting by other children. For example, he was getting bullied for being “retarded,” but now he is on a “special education” bus that is much more relaxed and has an additional adult attending to the young people.
中文
这意味着更多的资源，也更少被其他孩子针对。例如，他曾因被骂「弱智」而受欺凌，但现在他坐的是「特殊教育」校车，氛围宽松得多，还有额外的大人照料这些年龄在21岁以下者。
EN
It would be great if he could discharge all his chronic distress, but that may not happen before he can get his shoes on at 7:45 on a Tuesday morning. So I like seeing what other people have figured out with children who have similar struggles. It helps me feel like I can make mistakes, change my mind, and try new things, so we don’t just have the same fight over and over, laying in more hurt in the same spot.
中文
如果他能把所有慢性困扰都宣泄掉，当然很好，但那未必赶得上星期二早上七点四十五分他要穿好鞋出门。所以我喜欢看看别人在面对有类似困难的孩子时摸索出了什么。这让我感到自己可以犯错、可以改变想法、可以尝试新做法，这样我们就不会反复陷入同样的争执，在同一个地方叠上更多的伤害。
EN
It is clear to me that these diagnoses don’t mean that he is not fully intact or intelligent or doesn’t have full access to discharge. We still do RC family work and special time and give him sessions at home. But they have helped me accept him the way he is and discharge on not “fixing” or “saving” him.
中文
对我来说很清楚：这些诊断并不意味着他不完整、没有智慧，或不具备充分宣泄的能力。我们仍然做再评价咨询的家庭咨询活动和特别时光，也在家里给他安排倾听时间。但这些诊断帮助我接纳他本来的样子，并就「不去『修好』或『拯救』他」这件事去宣泄。
EN
Things are loosening up around “neurological difference.” People are pushing against using medical intervention to “cure” those who are diagnosed. While their perspective doesn’t align perfectly with RC theory, it is more human than many others.
中文
围绕「神经差异」的气氛正在松动。人们在抵制用医学干预去「治愈」被诊断者。虽然他们的视角与再评价咨询理论并不完全一致，但比许多其他看法更有人性。
EN
Our son’s behavior can be very challenging, and we’re glad to have a team of people helping him navigate the public school system as it gets tighter [less tolerant] and demands more conformity. It’s a contradiction [to distress] to break out of the isolation and shame and know that we have a team who loves him as he is.
中文
我们儿子的行为有时很棘手，而我们很高兴有一支团队帮他应对公立学校系统——这个系统正变得更紧绷〔更少包容〕，也要求更多的顺从。挣脱孤立与羞愧、知道我们有一支按他本来样子爱他的团队，这本身就是一种对照〔针对困扰〕。